Brolly Dodgers

When it rains, it pokes.

That has long been the complaint of speedy streetwise New York pedestrians who must zig, zag, and duck to escape the rapid jabs of umbrellas.

The latest salvo of umbrella umbrage appeared in today's Times:

The Collapsible Colossus
By MICAH COHEN

CORRY L. FLADER, an owner of the Umbrella Shop in Vancouver, British Columbia, offered a rule when walking in the rain: “Don’t poke or hit other people with your umbrella,” she said, “unless provoked.”

That advice may seem obvious, but urbanites who venture out in the rain are now weaving and ducking to avoid being stabbed in the eye.

During a recent downpour in New York, Josephine Noah, 25, a business analyst from Jersey City, complained: “Every single time it rains I get hit. And it is always the larger ones.”

The culprit is the golf umbrella, which was once seen only on the fairways but is now increasingly popular for everyday use, especially among men.

However, New Yorkers have been whining in the rain for more than 75 years. In 1929 the culprits were not men trying to overcompensate for something, but women putting fashion over safety:

April 28, 1929
UMBRELLA DODGING IS ADDED TO HAZARDS OF THE STREETS

The mere male who scorns carrying one finds himself facing formidable new models

The latest style in women's umbrellas have brought new perils into one of New York’s sports of the Springtime. In former years the pedestrian who scorned to carry one along the city’s crowded thoroughfares found it fairly easy to dodge the old-fashioned black umbrella, whose points extend downward. But with the coming of the new flat Japanese parasol in green, purple or crimson, with its wicked looking points standing straight out horizontally, umbrella dodging can be listed among the city’s hazardous occupations, and this Spring it has demanded special activity.

The protected underground life of most New York business men has bred in some a scorn of what is considered a necessity by most women, clad in easily injured hats and frocks. From home to the subway, elevated or suburban train station is usually a short walk for a man, and from his exit in the city to his office also generally means little exposure. He is out in the open but a short time. Hence the umbrella, if any, is neglected, and the old felt hat and last year’s overcoat can easily stand a little rain. But in refusing to bear the overhead shield he finds himself considerably handicapped when trying to hurry through the pedestrian army and yet retain his eyesight.

Jokes about getting stabbed in the eye aside, this turns out to be no laughing matter. After the jump, read an account that proves umbrellas are in fact a deadly weapon:

June 8, 1930
THRUST FROM AN UMBRELLA KILLS CHICAGO PEDESTRIAN

CHICAGO, June 7.—A thrust from an umbrella fatally wounded an unidentified man staggering along West Madison Street today.

The umbrella, according to witnesses, was wielded by a pedestrian in what appeared to be an instinctive act of self-protection. He went on his way without knowing that he had killed a man. His name was not learned.

After receiving the thrust the wayfarer kept his feet for a few steps. Then he collapsed in the doorway of a restaurant and died afterwards.

Physicians found that the point of the umbrella had severed his jugular vein.

Comments

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